by Natalise on October 14th, 2014

Dear Natalise,

I have a bit of a problem. Last year around this time, I broke up with my boyfriend of three years because my parents didn't like him. We had some differences, but nothing that wouldn't have changed over time. We mostly broke up because of my parents. A month later, I met a guy who is totally awesome and treats me right. He's pretty amazing. We have been together about a year now, but throughout the relationship I kept thinking about my ex on and off!! I just thought that was normal since we hadn't been apart that long. But recently, I have been thinking about it so much to the point that it's stressful. I am completely stuck. What should I do!? And if this is normal, how do I let the thought not overwhelm my brain!?

Stuck in Love
Dear Stuck in Love,

If you are constantly thinking about your ex-boyfriend, then I have to question how "in love" you are with your current guy. You say he treats you well and is amazing, but even so, are you fully invested in him? If not, then there's a problem and, ethically, you need to address that issue first. Your boyfriend sounds like a sweetheart and you seem to care about him, so remember that he deserves someone who loves him just as much. If you are thinking of your ex 24/7, you need to let your him go.

Now, you might do some soul searching and come back with confirmation that - actually - this current guy is PERFECT for you. In that case, you need to stop being silly and drop the whole "ex" dream. Sometimes we fantasize about what COULD be, as opposed to what is reality. If you love your current boyfriend, and I mean L-O-V-E with the utmost gravity, then the answer is easy. It won't be hard to make a commitment to be 100% emotionally invested.

In the end, if you are still in love with your ex, then you need to follow your heart. Otherwise, you'll always look back and think, "what if?"

xo,
Natalise

p.s. Listen to You+Me's "You and Me"

by Natalise on October 8th, 2014

Dear Natalise,

I'd be so thankful if you could give me some advice. You might tell me to dump his f*cking arse, probably.

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years and it's my first serious relationship. I don't know if it's normal behaviour or not, but my bf is VERY protective about his phone, I mean to such a degree he brings it to the kitchen with him. He NEVER leaves it at home to charge if he goes out and I'm home. But every time I go away for a week or even few days, he'll text me, "Oh sorry, I didn't reply yesterday, love. I left my phone charging at home" or " I forgot it when I went out." Okay, I'm not dumb. Obviously, he is hiding something.

So the other day I was randomly googling his name and a girl's name from his past to see if they were ever together or something. I found something he wrote her, which I thought was slightly inappropriate!! But I also found something else. I found a comment he made on another girl's Instagram page with a comment saying "you're the prettiest girl I'm following. Can I text you?" I found another one of his comments on another page: "She's so hot. Too bad she doesn't live in my country." All this was nine weeks ago, a day before his birthday when we were hanging out and had a lovely day, or so I thought. I mean this isn't normal is it? Would you consider this cheating?

Please, if you would tell me anything I'd appreciate it a lot! 

Googling 
Dear Googling,

Your boyfriend isn't really hiding anything. He's making it pretty clear that he's doing something that you won't love. 

Is he cheating? If I had to guess, I'd say no. That's just my hunch. It sounds like he doesn't really know these girls on Instagram. 

But, it also doesn't sound like he's super in love with you. That's unfortunate... because that means, he's wasting your time. So, if I were you, I'd exit and open my world to someone who is really "in" it with me. Or, if you're not ready to drop him, you can wait for him to grow up. Tick tock tick tock. #justdontwaitforever

xoxo,
Natalise

p.s. Here's Nick Jonas' new song "Jealous." Of course, it's a two-way street, but someone who is IN LOVE with you generally won't make you feel like you have to be jealous in any way...





 

by Natalise on September 30th, 2014

Dear Natalise,

I've been dating my boyfriend for almost three years, but we've had to do long distance for two of those years because we are both military. My problem, though, isn't the long distance... my problem is a girl he's friends with. They were intimate before we met, but he stopped sleeping with her when we started dating. They remained close friends. I was never comfortable with it, but I didn't want to tell him who to be friends with.

We were really happy the first year until I get deployed overseas. The female friend is very involved in his life to the point where she hangs out with his mother and sister. She even went to his family reunion. I told him that I did not want her visiting him because I feel she'd be overstepping boundaries, especially because they used to be intimate. I know she has feelings for him still. He lied about her visiting last year and she even slept in his bed. He claims they did not have sex. After we fought about it, he said he would stop talking to her. But then, he said he wouldn't stop talking to her because she's been such a good friend to him. I understood and accepted his stance, but again I told him I did not want her visiting. BUT, she went to visit him again... and he lied about it... again. He even took her to the military ball that I hoped he'd take me to.

I have tried being friends with this girl, but she has done things like delete me off his friends list on his PS3 when he lends it to her. I think she's petty. He says he loves me and only wants me. He says he barely talks to her. I told him that I can't be in a relationship with him if she is in his life. I've broken up with him several times, but we keep getting back together. He is very good at making me feel guilty for wanting to breakup. He says he needs time to get rid of her. But how much time does it take if he claims he's supposedly not talking to her? I feel that I know the answer to my own question, but I am in denial. 

Overseas
Dear Overseas,

Long distance relationships are hard, let alone ones that inherently make you feel insecure.

I generally try to give people the benefit of the doubt, but in your case it's a bit difficult. He's proven to you more than once that you can't believe what he says. Unfortunately, if you can't trust him, what kind of relationship do you guys really have? What kind of future can you build on a shaky foundation? I understand that people have friends of the opposite sex. And it could very well be that he and his female friend are completely platonic... but, he shouldn't lie about the visits, he shouldn't be sleeping in the same bed with her (even if they're not having sex), and he certainly shouldn't be taking her to the ball under these circumstances. 

I think you are right -- you know the answer to your own question. Let me push you from denial to the light.

xo,
Natalise
p.s. Listen to One Direction's new song "Steal My Girl." #GuiltyPleasure. Every girl deserves to feel like her guy is absolutely in love with her and only her. You deserve that.

by Natalise on September 23rd, 2014

Hello Natalise,

I really need your help. I am THOROUGHLY confused/jealous/insecure/over-thinking. I have had this boyfriend for the past year. We've been really been through stuff and are going to be soon marrying each other (his mother and mine are in contact!). But the thing is, the other day we shared FB passwords and now I've realized that he's a BIG stalker of his female friends (loads of 'em), our mutual female friends, and some other girls that I don't know. I saw all of these girls in his search history and, umm... I don't know what to do! Should I confront him because all of this has made me really uneasy, or should I just leave it because all guys are like that? My brain is a really big mess right now. If I ask, he might start clearing his searches and call ME a BIG stalker, but if I don't, I'll have to pretend like it's not happening.

So please, help me make my way through my confusion. I'l be really happy and at ease.

Engaged to a Stalker
Dear Engaged,

While it's a common, and probably harmless, phenomena for people to search others on FB, I'd definitely be a little weirded out, too.

Whatever you do -- don't get jealous. It's very likely that the reasoning for his behavior has NOTHING directly to do with you.

Best Case Scenario: He's bored.
If So, My Reaction: "Is it just a bad habit... and am I OK with that?" / "Am I really committing my life to someone who spends a lot of his time on FB search?" / "Doesn't he have better things to do?"

Worst Case Scenario: He's unhappy and "window shopping" to see what else is out there.
If So, My Reaction: "What could he be unhappy about? Am I contributing to possible unhappiness and if so, what can I do about it?" (Perhaps there is a really simple problem that you need to help fix). And on the flipside, "Are we really compatible?"

Of course, it could be none of the above. I often have askers ask, "What else could it be?" Maybe he was searching for a particular person and he had to go from profile to profile. Maybe he was doing research on what girls wrote or posted about for a data project. I know these ideas seem far-fetched, but I only mention it to say that his "stalking" might not be stalking at all... maybe it's something random and unexpected.

If I were you, I'd tactfully bring it up regardless of what you think it is. If you guys are getting married, then you should be comfortable enough to have a harmless conversation about a harmless act, right? If he gets defensive, it could be a key into what is really going on. Generally people who act overly defensive have something to defend...

Good luck,
Natalise

p.s. Listen to Tove Lo's "Habits." Your guy might just have a bad habit. If so, you'll have to decide what you're willing to tolerate...

by Natalise on September 16th, 2014

Hello Natalise,

I am a 23 year-old female dating a 27 year-old male. We've been together for about four years now and something rather odd occurred last night. This is embarrassing and I need a second opinion. I posted a photo on my Instagram joking over my boobs. I have a small chest and noticed that they've "grown" -- only I can tell, I'm sure. I was being sarcastic and wrote, "No, no these boobs are real" followed by "I think I hit puberty" & "excuse my wrinkles." Hey, I can laugh at myself. Anyways, my bf took this as a sign of me being narcissistic and insisted I take the image down. I refused. My thought is: the photo is of me with a whacky face where my boobs happen to be in the picture, but not entirely. I'm not exposing anything and I'm not being sexually explicit. Idk if I should listen to him or if he has a right to be angry. Please help. I am aware of how silly this sounds. 

Boobalicious
Dear Miss B,

Let me preface by saying that what we post on social media is really personal preference. What offends one person might totally be funny and fine to someone else. It's all relative.

That being said, your boyfriend loves you and is probably somewhat protective over how you show yourself to others and consequently how they view you. To be clear, he has no jurisdiction over you and should not. But that doesn't mean he doesn't have feelings. I think his judgment of you being "narcissistic" is unfair; I don't think you're being narcissistic. But while it's great to be able to laugh at yourself, others who don't know you might think that you posted the picture of yourself to get attention from guys (or girls) inappropriately. By making a comment about your boobs, even jokingly, you're calling attention to parts of your body that your boyfriend probably wants to keep private. Ultimately, it's not his decision,  but I can understand why he might be put off by your post. 

So here's what I think: your BF should apologize for calling you a hurtful name. But in the future, if you care about your BF's feelings, you should think about how your actions might affect him before you carry them out (even if you feel it's totally okay). I think that when we're in relationships with people we love, we have to be able to bend and adjust in order to accommodate their feelings, not just our own. I call this adopting "team mentality," an important factor in relationship success.

Hope that makes sense!
Natalise x

p.s. As a total mood selection, listen to "Promise" by Ben Howard. When I listen to this song, I think of two people being completely in sync with each other, a cohesive unit, if you will. I think it is in this space that two people understand each other... and what I personally would strive for in a relationship. All the little things, at that point, fall away.

by Natalise on September 10th, 2014

Dear AskNatalise,

My boyfriend REALLY wants to get married and has been pushing the topic a lot recently. But, I'm not ready. If I'm being honest, I just don't believe in marriage.


It has become a pain point in our relationship to argue over this issue. I really want to be with my boyfriend, maybe even forever. But I really don't see the point of getting married. My BF is very family oriented and comes from a Christian home. I appreciate those things about him, but I feel as though there is pressure to acquire a piece of paper that should really be a non-factor. I don't believe you need to be married to be happy. I am at a loss at this point. Are we just incompatible?

Under Pressure
Dear Under Pressure,

The black and white answer is that if you both are adamant about your stances on marriage, then yes -- you may not be compatible.

But, I think reality sits more in gray (and color, to be on the optimistic side). Compromise is available, if you are both open to it. I'm not trying to convince you either way, but I would ask you to consider why you are so against marriage and why your boyfriend is so for it. For example, are you scared of being truly vulnerable? Are you scared of commitment? Do you not believe he is "the one"? And on the flipside -- is your boyfriend in a rush to have kids? Is he getting pressured from his family? Is he insecure in your relationship (and wanting to create some stability)? I would then honestly evaluate your fears and agendas. My guess is that there is truth to discover somewhere in that discussion that would shed light for both of you. I would imagine that if you two really love each other, you will come to understand the other person's wants and needs and meet somewhere in the gray.

xo,
Natalise

p.s. Listen to "One" by Ed Sheeran. Marriage does not define "the One." But if you've found that person, then why not get married if it's important to him?

by Natalise on September 2nd, 2014

Dear Natalise,

My older brother hates my boyfriend and I don't know what to do! :( My brother and I used to be very close, but ever since I started dating my boyfriend, he acts like a stranger. Coincidence? I don't think so. My brother has done this before. I know he disapproves of my boyfriend for some reason, but I don't know exactly why. My boyfriend is a genuinely good guy and I want to stay with him. At the same time, I don't want to lose my relationship with my brother. It gets awkward when we have family dinners and we are all in the same room. I know some people might be able to live with a family member disapproving of their boyfriend/girlfriend, but that's not how I feel at all. It's very important to me. I would be grateful for any piece of advice you have.

Thanks, Natalise! I love reading your blog every week!

Family Matters in VA
Dear Family Matters,

Thanks for reading the blog and I'm happy to hear at least one person is getting something out of it. ;)

I could be wrong, but it sounds like you are doing a lot of assuming. After all, "hate" is a strong word. Yes, maybe your brother has been overprotective and sensitive about your ex-boyfriends before, but perhaps this time, his silence is indicative of something else. I would give him the benefit of the doubt and just ask him. Have a candid conversation and let him tell you exactly what's on his mind. And then hear him out. Be open to his opinions, even if you don't agree.

If he's not up for chatting, don't take it personally. It is very possible that he is just having a bad week or dealing with something personal. It's important to remind yourself of this truth: "It's often NOT about you." And then ask, "what else could it be?" Trust that if your brother really has an issue with you and/or your boyfriend and cares about your sibling relationship, he'll make it known to you so you can work through it together!

In the meantime, don't obsess about it. Live your life and focus on making the other relationships in your life the best they can be. xx

Natalise

p.s. Listen to Taylor Swift's new song "Shake it Off." You will feel a certain freedom when you don't jump to conclusions and take things personally!



by Jess Furman on August 26th, 2014

Dear AskNatalise, 

I had to find out from my friend that my boyfriend has an Instagram and how he's acting like he's single. When girls commented on a lot of his pictures about how he looks and stuff, he says "thank you (; " and "I'm trying my best to look good (;". He never once mentioned that he's in a relationship with me or anything. We've been together for over a year now. I know I'm probably making a big deal and all, but it's not right. When I told him about it, he blocked his profile and just hid it. We had a big argument over it, and after he told me he got rid of it, but I kind of doubt it...

Insta-Troubled
Dear Insta-Troubled,

This is a tough one. Everyone approaches and engages in social media for a multitude of reasons. Self-expression. Self-promotion. Boredom. But at the heart of it is the desire to connect with other people and to share something of yourself. And let's be honest - It feels good to get positive feedback from other people in life. Think about it. When you buy a new outfit and a friend tells you that you look beautiful, the knee jerk reaction probably isn't to say, "I have a boyfriend." It's to say, "Thank you." Granted, in that scenario, the compliment isn't forever etched onto a public digital bulletin board for all the world to see.

At the end of the day, what you are really struggling with is whether or not you trust your partner. If he's hot, chances are he hears that in real life, in addition to comments left on his profile... and it's a complete losing battle to try to control the behavior of people you know, and even more impossible to control the behavior of people you don't know.

In a novel from the 1850s by Nathaniel Hawthorne, an adulterer is made to wear a Scarlet Letter to broadcast to the world her infidelity and shame over her behavior. I say, don't turn your relationship into a Scarlet Letter by guilting your partner into uploading "the-boy-is-mine" family photos. Release yourself from the illusion that having him post more pictures of the two of you together on Instagram will somehow prevent any inappropriate action he might take. If you are combing through his social media profiles you might want to ask yourself: "What am I looking for?" and "Why?"  If there's a legitimate reason to believe he's cheating, then you need to have a straightforward and grown-up conversation with him. Otherwise, let hot stuff get a few kudos from his adoring public...and rest easy knowing he's all yours. 

--Jess

Ps - In homage to the days of pre-web crazy, take a listen to Brandy's "The Boy is Mine": 

by Natalise on August 19th, 2014

Hey there,

I've been with my girlfriend for about two years, and I love her. But lately, as we've started to look ahead, the topic of religion has come up more frequently, and I feel it could end it all. My girlfriend is a "devout" Christian (mostly only when it's convenient), and I am somewhere around Agnostic. We've known this about each other since we got together, but I never thought we'd really get this far. Now, as things have progressed, she wants me to agree to Christian principles and ideologies of how we should be married and raise kids and none of it is something I can agree with. I don't want a Christian wedding, nor do I want to force my kids to go to church if they don't want to. But these are lines for her and for myself. What should we do? Is this too far beyond recovery? Thanks.

Agnostic
Dear Agnostic,

Call me an idealist, but I don't think any situation is "too far beyond recovery," per se... as long as you are both open.

For example, you're not Christian... but have you ever gone to church? I'm not asking you to be Christian, but it's always cool to learn something new, even if you don't believe in it. In exchange, maybe she'd be willing to learn about Agnosticism and why people adopt that perspective. Perhaps both of you are willing to go to a Buddhist Temple, Synogogue, Mosque, or Meditation Center... together -- without judgment or complaint.

I think if you both are willing to explore and be open to religion as a learning experience, then you will have empathy for each other and where you stand individually. Maybe then you'll be able to find a middle ground somewhere. 

However, if you both remain adamant and closed, then I'm not sure you will be able to intertwine your thoughts and lives together in a way that enables the same life vision and, thus, a healthy future.

I wrote a status update today on FB (www.facebook.com/natalise) that is perhaps relevant in this situation: "Lead with love, not fear. Fear breeds insecurity, resentment, anger, or even hate-- all things which only kill you from the inside." If you lead with love in this situation, you might find a compromising light between you two.

xo,
Natalise

p.s. Listen to One Republic's "Preacher." Sometimes you actually find God/the Universe/Love in unexpected places and people. 

by Natalise on August 13th, 2014

Dear Natalise,

I know this might sound a little crazy or nonsensical. I've been seeing this girl, and she recently broke up with her boyfriend. But I have come to realise that her ex-boyfriend's friend is starting to follow her on Instagram after knowing they broke up. And I've realised as well that she has been liking almost all of this guy's photos on Instagram. When I look at that guy's photos, I do not see anything interesting about them. But it seems that she has been liking almost all of them, except for the ones her ex-boyfriend is in. Is this normal or is there any sign of flirting going on between her and her ex-boyfriend's friend?

Somewhat Concerned
Dear Somewhat Concerned, 

If you don't see her writing flirtatious messages to this dude, you can probably rule out any real, threatening kind of flirtation.

However, you say that your girlfriend recently broke up with her boyfriend. And now all of a sudden, she is buddying up to his friend... sounds to me like she's making a show of her friendship to irritate her ex-boyfriend. In essence, she's doing what I'd call "social media marking," or rather "social media revenge."

Have you ever noticed that some people "mark their territory" by liking or posting comments on FB and Instagram unnecessarily to show they are friends with that person? (I'm not harshly judging -- we all have moments of insecurity... but "marking" is definitely cringe-worthy). My guess is that your girlfriend is trying to show her ex-boyfriend that she can still be friends with HIS friends, while still being upset with him. Hence, she likes all of the dude's pictures MINUS the ones featuring her ex. When her ex notices her actions, he gets hurt and she feels like she got some sort of weird revenge. Yup... the revenge of the ex. Scary. Not really, just annoying, at worst.

I could totally be off base, but I don't think you have to worry about her liking this new guy. However, what's more likely is that you need to decide whether you believe your girlfriend is ready to be in a healthy relationship with you. She could well be over her ex in that she does not want to rekindle any kind of romantic relationship with him. But that doesn't mean she doesn't harbor any anger or resentment. And while it's natural to be mad at an ex for whatever reason, it's not conducive to starting a new relationship... a healthy one, anyway. At the end of the day, the decision is up to you, but I personally don't feel comfortable starting a relationship with someone who is still angry at their ex. For me, it means they have some feelings and issues to work through before they are in a healthy place.

xo,
Natalise
p.s. Listen to Echosmith's "Cool Kids."
Sometimes, we just want to pretend like everything's cool and the whole world is our friend (especially after a breakup and ESPECIALLY if the ex is asking).

by Natalise on August 6th, 2014

Dear Natalise, 

Here we go. I've been dealing with this guy since 10th grade (ha, a long time!) and since then, he has always managed to be with other females but has never tried to have anything serious with me.

After freshman year of college we had sex for the first time (worst mistake ever), but I fell even harder. I fell hard for him and even had "delusions of grandeur," imagining our lives as "highschool sweethearts" and what not. Anyway, over the last 6 years we have been much like a light bulb "on and off." But, when we're "on" we are hot, lol.

Here's the thing - what usually leads to the "off" times is me asking what we are and where we are headed. He would then get cold feet and drop off the planet. He would make sure to tell me how he didn't want a relationship and how he just wanted to focus on his career. During these "off" times, he'd be with someone else.

Our last "on" time was probably the closest we have ever been to being in a relationship. I had surgery last summer and though I accepted that we were friends and nothing more, HE went out his way to make it seem like it was more. He's a music artist and writes a lot of songs. So on the night before my birthday, he took me to the studio and sang to me: "I know you got your flaws and so do I, but I think your perfect for me." Obviously, I was silly putty at that point. I have never had anyone write a song for me, let alone shout me out in one especially about love. So I took the song to heart and listened to it every night for months. For awhile we were super hot. He even spent thanksgiving with family. We spent HOURS on the phone talking while he was at work. I would bring him lunch when he couldn't get away for lunch. Even when he was strapped financially, I would help where I could because I felt that's what good friends do. We spent ALL of our free time together, we would have amazing conversations about life and spirituality; nothing was off topic. After 8 months of this, I told him I was ready to be in a relationship. Disappointingly so, he was indifferent.

So, I got back together with my ex. I was so hurt and really just wanted to feel loved. Also, a part of me secretly wanted to make this guy jealous. But that backfired. Not even a month later, I saw pictures on FB of him and his new "roommate" looking very coupley (apparently she was a lesbian who now likes dudes... please excuse me as I roll my eyes hard enough to get stuck). So me being me, I waited until i wasn't AS mad and I asked him straight up, "Why was I never enough?" He responded that I was enough but more than he was willing to risk losing. WTF. IS HE SERIOUS? How does this even make sense? I know I deserve better but I just want to know why? Why do men think like this? Will he ever grow up? But more importantly, is the friendship worth saving or should I cut ties and let it be? 

Feeling Dumb
Dear Feeling Dumb,

I'm going to respond as if you were my own little sister. Please hear this knowing that I come with an empathetic heart, but a firm position.

You have basically allowed yourself to be in a "friends with benefits" kind of relationship, without calling it so. Deep down, you know this is true -- that's why you called having sex with him your "worst mistake ever." You also know that he benefits more than you. I know this SUCKS. A lot of us have been there. But the truth is that when someone consistently shows you that he is incapable of having a real, authentic relationship, you need to run. While his emotions may have heightened when you had your surgery and over Thanksgiving, the fact remains that he's not going to commit. And while you may shift your thinking to wonder why you weren't enough, you have to realize that it's not about you at all. He is just not there.

I'm not saying he's a bad person. And I'm not even saying that he doesn't have feelings for you. I'm sure he does. But his romantic gestures of song, his spending time with your family, the hot sex... it's not enough. It shouldn't be enough. If you're honest with yourself, you want more. And he's unavailable. Period. 

Your relationship with him has been off and on for a very long time, so it will be hard, but you need to break ties. Erase him from your phone, delete him from FB, block him wherever you need to block him. It's not about being mean... it's about being fair. You need to be fair to yourself. If you don't get out of this cycle, you will inevitably be stuck circling the drain.

You deserve love -- real, requited, amazing love -- don't you?
I think so.

Big Hug,
Natalise

p.s. Listen to Sia's "Fair Game." Know when to fold.

by Natalise on July 29th, 2014

Dear AskNatalise,

I am sick and tired of fighting with my girlfriend about her. Whenever I tell her something that's bothering me, she will turn it into something about herself. Last week, I told her I miss my family (I moved to a different city to be with her). Instead of hearing me out, she thinks I am blaming her for missing them, gets defensive, and starts a fight with me. She makes it so the problem is about her, when it wasn't at all to begin with. I made the decision to move. I do miss my family, but I don't blame her. I was just trying to tell her (someone) how I felt.

Most other fights end the same way. I feel like I can't talk to her anymore. Am I not seeing something?

Ignored
Dear Ignored,

Here's what I think -- your girlfriend is insecure and therefore only focused on herself. In this mindset, she has no room to really "see" you because she's focused on not getting hurt.

I'm sure your girlfriend feels a lot of guilt and responsibility over and for you. You moved to a different city to be with her and she wants you to be happy with that decision. So when you say you miss your family, her brain probably jumps to something like, "Oh no! He's mad at me because he misses his family. If he's not mad at me, he will start resenting me... and then he'll break up with me. And then I'll be alone forever." It sounds ridiculous, but that's what happens in brains sometimes.

I know it seems unfair for your girlfriend to turn your sharing of feelings into a conversation that is really about her own insecurities. But now perhaps knowing that she is consumed by her own fears, you could meet her halfway. Let me be clear: you did NOTHING wrong. I'm just saying that if you love her, then you can try to communicate in a way she will understand so as to not get defensive. Perhaps you can say something like, "I love you and I don't regret moving... but I really do miss my family." It's a small adjustment (and needs to be truthful if said), but it would address her needs.

I'd be curious to see if her reaction was just as defensive if prefaced this way...
Let me know how you guys get on.

xo,
Natalise
p.s. Listen to Jason Mraz's "Love Someone." When you love someone, you have to love more than your perception and recognize they've had significant experiences, positive and negative, outside of you. These experiences have impacted them in some decisive way. You can't and shouldn't fix them. But, you can be empathetic. x

by Fitz Carlile / Natalise Kalea on July 22nd, 2014

Dear AskNatalise,

I would like your opinion about "money" in relationships. Do you think that boyfriends should be responsible for paying for most things like dinners and dates/outings? I don't mind paying, but it adds up. I have a job, but I'm just starting out (I'm 23). I'm not trying to complain about my girlfriend. She is kind of a princess, but I think she's really cool and want to treat her well and with respect. If I had all the money in the world, I wouldn't stress about it. But I don't. Should I just suck it up and take it as the cost of having a girlfriend... or should I have a conversation I don't want to have?

Mr. Dollar
You asked a good question. Two of us talked about it and have thoughts for you...

Fitz:
Have the conversation. You are an honest, caring, and sincere guy. You like her, you treat her well and with respect, and if you were making more money, you'd be more than happy to spend your money on her. But, like you said, you don't. It might be an awkward conversation to have, but it's an important one.
Natalise: Yes, I agree. Who cares if it's awkward? Awkward conversations are necessary for long-term relationships. If you can tackle these kinds of issues, then it shows that the two of you are compatible.

Fitz: Before the talk, here is something to consider: if she is never helping contribute to the expenses that come from how the both of you choose to spend your time together, you have to try and understand why that's the case. Is she also operating with a limited income/budget?
Natalise: Fitz is right -- getting context is important. Does she want to contribute, but is struggling? Or is it a cultural thing? (For example, in some traditions and cultures, who pays is based on age, gender, or status). Is she grateful or rudely expectant? I would think about her frame of mind and situation with empathy, but at the same time, draw a line on what you can and cannot accept.

Fitz: If she is struggling financially, while costs for you are getting out of control, then get creative and find more cost-effective ways to spend time together. Cook her dinner. Take her to a museum that has free admission on special nights, take a walk through a farmers' market on a Sunday, hike, attend free concerts at local venues, or take a walk on the beach. What's important is the time you spend together, not the money you spend. 
Natalise: Absolutely. If you are lost for ideas, there are also deal sites everywhere now that offer cheap activities for couples. Some of them are cheesy, but fun all the same!

Fitz: And if she's not interested in making adjustments and would prefer that you continue to pony up the bills for dinner, drinks and movies, while never helping to contribute (even though she has the means), then you may very well consider that she's not the one for you. 
Natalise: Just to add -- there's definitely a difference between a girl who receives gifts gratefully and one who takes you for granted. Once you start the conversation, you'll know.

Fitz: If she understands your financial pressure and loves you all the same, helps find low-cost ways to have fun, or helps contribute to them, then you have a winner! 
Natalise: Well, at the end of the day, I think it's about finding someone who understands, loves, and respects you, regardless of how much money is spent and by whom. On a final note, listen to "Rude" by Magic. 1) Make sure she's not rude. 2) True love conquers money issues (unless #1 is true). x

by Natalise on July 15th, 2014

Dear AskNatalise, 

Four and a half years ago, I broke up with my first boyfriend. "My first love," he was my first everything. He is a great guy, but at the time we were young and we just weren't ready for something serious. I felt I wasn't making him happy at the time. I immediately regretted my decision to breakup with him, but he didn't want me back. I slowly started to accept that and tried to forget about him.

About a year ago, I started talking to this guy and we have been dating since. He is honestly the kindest, caring, and greatest guy. He's perfect for someone like me. Things were great at first, but now all these little things about him bother and annoy me. Recently, my ex and I started talking and hanging out. We still have feelings for each other. I really care about my boyfriend now and I like him, but I don't love him. There are so many different things about them both that I like and don't like and some are big factors (like ethnicity/nationality).

I feel really bad about not being completely honest with my boyfriend. I am just trying to figure out which is the best decision without being selfish, but also not hurting myself all over again. I also am scared to be alone. What should I do?

Thanks,
Lost in Love
Dear Lost in Love,

Love can be confusing, but in this case it seems pretty clear.

Clue #1: You said, "I really care about my BF now and I like him, but I don't love him." That's problematic. You like your neighbor. You like your teacher's cat. You like your aunt's best friend. You shouldn't just like your boyfriend. If you don't love him (or feel like it's moving in that direction), then you really should break up with him regardless of whether you get back with your ex-boyfriend or not. The number one thing I've seen my friends do (I've been guilty, as well once or twice) is stay with someone for longer than they should... HOPING that things will get better or that SOMETHING will click, catapulting them into that magical land of "IN LOVE FOREVER"-ness. I'm sure it happens; I've just never seen it happen that way. Usually, people know pretty quickly. Every person deserves to be with someone who can say, "I LOVE HIM (her), absolutely and unconditionally," shouting from the rooftops... you get what I'm saying. So really, you should let him go. 

Clue #2: You said, "he's perfect for someone like me." Someone like you is not you. And if you felt your current BF were perfect for YOU, you'd have consciously or unconsciously said, "He's perfect for me." But you didn't. 

If you are IN LOVE with your ex-boyfriend, then maybe you should give it a go. But make sure you are both ready to overcome the obstacles that you faced earlier on in your relationship. Even though we all grow up, we are still the same people with (generally) the same tendencies. So don't rush into things -- the worst thing that could happen is that you find yourself in the same rut later on that caused you to break up in the first place!

From one girl to another, I'll say this: regardless of what happens, don't be scared to be alone. The hugest time of growth is when you are by yourself. If you spend some time alone and focus on your own passions, you'll probably find that you are pretty good company. AND, you'll have even more to offer in your next relationship.
 
xo,
Natalise

p.s. Love is like a "Boom Clap." You just know. Sounds like there is none of that happening in your current relationship, while it still lingers with your ex...


by Natalise on July 8th, 2014

Dear AskNatalise,

I just found out my husband of six years is liking his ex's Instagram photos, direct messaging her, and making inappropriate comments on her pics like "I see your Nipple Rings," "Love your Natural Look," etc. In return, she's calling him the pet name she used to call him when they were dating. I'm so pissed, and considering we just had a baby, can you blame me??

He says they're just friends, but I think he might be seeing this girl. She's not attractive at all (not trying to be mean), but it's true. I don't know what the heck he sees in this chic but I'm just like if you want to risk your family, go for it because I can't seem to stop him. 

I'm so confused! What should I do?
Mad Wifey
Dear Wifey,

Well, looks don't really matter when it comes to cheating, do they? I mean Eric Benet cheated on Halle Berry, Jude Law cheated on Siena Miller, and Justin Bieber cheated on Selena Gomez... so if celebrities are any indication of real life (which MUST be true ;)), we can all conclude that looks are a secondary factor and the only thing he might see in this chick is that she's a different and fun distraction.

So let's get to the heart of the matter -- do I think they are just friends? No. But, do I think he's going to cheat on you? Not necessarily. He's clearly being inappropriate, but he might be lashing out, consciously or unconsciously, because something ELSE is the matter. In these situations, I think it's important to assess what other underlying issues might be festering. Generally when someone is on the hunt for fun distractions (e.g. flirting on social media), there's usually something that the person feels is missing in the relationship. Have you guys been on dates lately? How has your communication and intimacy been? Do you feel completely connected? If you can reflect and think about ANYthing that hasn't been tiptop lately, try to think of a way you can work on the problem together.

Otherwise, if nothing else is going on, the other scenario could be just that he's not committed (and won't be any time soon). If that's the case, which I hope it's not, then you will have to reassess if he's deserving of a real, grown-up relationship that requires his commitment, love, and utmost energy... because, especially as a new mom, you deserve someone who's going to give you and your new family full attention. Remember, you are worthy of love and if he's not cutting in, then you need to be strong... not just for you, but for the little addition to your world...

xo,
Natalise

p.s. Take a listen to Demi Lovato's "Really Don't Care" -- if he's not willing to step up to the plate, then you really shouldn't care... (easier said than done, but you know what I mean!)

by Natalise on July 1st, 2014

Hi Natalise,

I'm 20 and in a relationship with someone I truly love and am so happy. We have a significant age difference, so our experiences also significantly differ. I do believe though that our experiences, including our age difference, is part of what has made us fall in love because our past has turned us into who we are today. I am a confident person, however at the same time, can be a harsh self critic in some areas like self-image (I can probably thank media for this). I am beautiful and good looking, but sometimes I don't feel as good looking when I compare myself to my boyfriend's exes (I still feel beautiful though - beauty and looks are different). He has been with a lot of girls before me, so there are a lot of girls to compare myself to (I don't compare myself to actresses or models...probably because I don't feel like they are a threat). I don't even think his exes are a threat because he has always told me I'm the best and that I'm the only girl he wants to have children with and is constantly showering me with so much love. So why do I even bother comparing myself to his exes? I don't compare my organizational skills or things I know I lack WAY more compared to his exes, so why are looks so important when they shouldn't be? This makes no sense at all. I'm sure most girls can relate in some sort of way, so it's probably an issue with society...how do I get over it? Or how can I help it? 

Also, I feel like it's hard for my boyfriend to completely understand me since he is a guy and I am a girl, and since I don't have many guys for him to compare himself to. How should I explain my feelings to my boyfriend in a way that makes the most sense to him?

Thanks in advance since you always give such helpful advice.

Girl Problems
Dear Girl Problems,

You are absolutely right in that we, as a culture, are obsessed with looks (rather than organizational skills -- though I, personally, have found Excel skills rather attractive. Impeccable grammar is another one. I digress...).

But yes, I completely understand what you are saying. I think that what you have to remember and focus on is that when you are in love with someone, you focus only on them. It's like tunnel vision. You zero in on how great they are and any flaws become idiosyncratic quirks that make them even more beautiful. THIS... is how he feels about you. His exes are exes for a reason. It didn't work out. And YOU are with him because it IS working out. Don't ruin what you guys have by letting your head run the game. 
I'm surprised at myself for typing the following, but... I would NOT try to explain your feelings to your boyfriend. They are illogical to him because he is IN LOVE with you. Realize that these thoughts stem from that little part of you that is insecure and fearful that you might one day lose him to someone else. After all, you think, if he could love all these different people before, then who is to say he won't love some more people in the future? But, the truth is... it's not looks that keep a person in your life, it's an amazing connection. Focus on that and you'll be fine.

Hope this helps and keep me posted on how you get on...!
xo,
Natalise
p.s. Listen to Shawn Mendes' "Life of the Party." To your boyfriend, you will never be ordinary. It's you that has to change your own mind.

by Natalise on June 24th, 2014

Dear AskNatalise,

I'm having best friend problems. :( I have a friend whom I've always considered a best friend. She's like family. But she has stopped returning my phone calls, emails, and text messages. I can't seem to figure out why or if I have done something to offend her. I hear that other friends have heard from her, so I know she is OK. I'm not sure how to handle this without showing up at her house. Does that sound crazy? If you were me, what would you do? 

Best Friend
Dear Best Friend,

Umm... yeah, definitely DO NOT show up at her house. Don't cross the line to Crazysauce.

Sometimes people go through phases in life where they need to take a break and do their own thing. As tempting as it is to let your ego take it personally (we're all guilty of this) and overanalyze whether you've done something HORRIFIC to absolutely damage your relationship with her, just... let it be. Focus on you and do your own thing. 

Chances are it's not about you. At all. It's about them and what they need.

So if you want to be a real friend and a supportive one at that, then write her an email saying something along the lines of, "Hey there, Just want to reach out and say hello and that I hope you're well. I'm here if you ever want to chat! Miss you." And then, let it go. Don't expect a response. Don't check your email five million times to see if she's responded. Don't get angry or bitter. Instead, breathe a prayer to the universe and wish her well, genuinely and truly. 

Hope this helps,
Natalise

p.s. Listen to Maroon 5's new song "Maps." If it's meant to be, your paths will cross again. I'm sure they will. 

by Jess Furman on June 17th, 2014

Dear AskNatalise,

Help! I'm dating a menstrual monster! During *certain* weeks of the month, my girlfriend lashes out over really minor things that don't matter, which doesn't bring out the best in me. If I ask her whether it's bc of "biological" reasons, she gets mad. But if this craziness is part of her normal personality, I'm not sure I'm the guy for her. It's gotten worse in the last couple of months. Any suggestions on how to handle this situation without making either of us go insane?

In Madness
Dear In Madness,

That’s a tricky one. As my mother likes to say – “you can’t reason with the unreasonable,” and that’s true for just about anyone, regardless of gender.

There are a few issues here. For one, hormones can truly wreak havoc on a female's moods during certain times in the menstrual cycle. It’s not based on logic, it’s just pure chemistry. 

On the other hand, PMS absolutely does NOT entitle someone to treat you poorly. While you might want to get good at reading your partner’s moods and knowing when to back off a bit, it's also important not to take on the responsibility for your partner’s bad mood. 

I suggest that you sit down with your girlfriend and communicate how you're feeling. Try to pick a time when she isn’t in need of an exorcism and might be more willing to have an open, rational conversation with you. Do express how her moods affect you. Don't just label her "crazy." After having an honest chat, see how things change. If they don't, you'll have to decide whether you can live with her monthly mood swings.

A last word of advice – never tell a woman that you think she is PMS-ing unless you want to be murdered. It might be true, but it’s just one of those things better left unsaid.

Best of luck,
Jess


P.S. Musical inspiration (throwback) – “Don’t Take it Personal” – Monica 


by Natalise on June 10th, 2014

Dear AskNatalise,

I am freshly single, out of a 7-year relationship. It's been about four months now, and I think I want to start seeing what's out there but I am terrified. I haven't had to "date" for many years and the idea of getting back in the water is not my idea of a good time. I don't even know where to begin and I'm starting to get butterflies (not good butterflies) just thinking about it. Where do I start? The idea of online dating is also not very appealing, but should I force myself to do it??

Back to Level 1
Dear Level 1,

I don't think you're alone. While a lot of people initiate conversation on dating/social sites like Tinder, Instagram, Facebook, and OkCupid, there are many people who prefer alternate ways of "getting out there." As such, there are plenty of cool ways to meet people offline. Here's a possible strategy for you:

1) Think about hobbies or interests you have/had/want to explore. Write down a list of 20 things! I know that's a lot, but you're single now, so you have time and space!

2) Start joining groups on Meet-Up.com or in your community. Outside of Meet-Up, search opportunities to get involved via Google, Yelp, etc. Off the top of my head, I'm thinking of things like volunteering (arts for kids, animal adoptions, policy change, etc), dance class, cooking workshops, run clubs, Toastmasters, photography expeditions, acting troupes, church, athletic teams, yoga/meditation communities, pet lovers, wine lovers, etc. You get the idea. Whatever you're into, I'm sure it exists.

3) Commit to taking part in your favorite finds. Pick five to start. Do them all within two weeks. Again, that's a lot, but this would be the challenging part of the challenge...

4) Meet people with the genuine hope of friendship instead of (romantic) love. Approaching these new relationships in this way will be less pressure for everyone involved and you will have more fun!

When you're in a new groove, write back and keep me posted on all the new activities you're doing and all the people you're meeting! I'd love to hear about it :)

xo,
Natalise

p.s. Listen to Jason Mraz's fun, new single "Back to Earth." Perhaps another choice on the list is doing a volunteering trip in a different country, growing a community garden, or joining a farm-to-table meet-up group to try new, sustainable restaurants in the area!

by Natalise on June 4th, 2014

Dear AskNatalise,

I met the most amazing guy when I went to Germany last summer. He's everything I've ever dreamt about... smart, worldly, good-looking, and quirky in a good way. Together, we were everything people see in the movies...

When I got back to CA, we kept in touch over text and Skype. But last fall, I started at NYU and my life just got insane. It was harder to keep in touch consistently. We haven't talked in the last couple of months, but I think about him a lot. The problem is that when I've tried to FaceTime him recently, he hasn't picked up. He doesn't respond to emails. I think he's avoiding me on purpose and maybe has met someone else. I'm sad because I feel we could have really had something. :( Any words of advice for me?

Missing Germany
Dear Missing Germany,

Ah... yes. A foreign love affair is exciting, isn't it?

I understand what you're going through. A couple of years back, I had the hugest crush on a guy in Sweden. It never worked out, though and I sometimes wonder, "What if..." But, the truth is that though it was dreamy and romantic, it was also really unrealistic because I, for one, was not ready to move to Sweden, and he was not going to move to LA.

Specifically in regards to your situation, I won't disagree with your assumption that your guy is avoiding you. I mean, yes... there is a POSSIBILITY that he's lost all contact with everyone and doesn't check his email or his phone and has gone out into the woods where he's meditating and definitely NOT dating anyone else. But the more likely scenario is that he probably missed you a lot, too, and then he got tired of missing you when you got busy. So, he moved on. And now, he wants to avoid being drawn back to the abyss of long-distance with no successful outcome in the near future, so he's not answering your calls or emails. That's fair. You can't be mad at him for that... as he can't be mad at you for being busy with life. Should he be more clear and tell you exactly where he's at emotionally? Yes. But, unfortunately most people aren't that upfront (or self-aware, for that matter) and you will have to read between the lines.

I'm not sure what to tell you except to say that everything happens for a reason; having faith in that idea will help you move forward. If I were you, I'd embrace the journey of school and NYC life. If it's meant to be, he'll come around. But maybe he won't and, in that case, you can just keep him in your mental box of awesome memories.

xo,
Natalise
p.s. Listen to Sam Smith's "I'm Not the Only One" ...in this scenario, he probably shouldn't be your only one, nor should you be his, UNLESS either one of you is planning to move across the world.


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How do I know if I'm cheating How to Be Confident How to Be More Secure How to Get Him How to Get My Ex Back How to Get Over Your Ex How to Get the Guy How to Get the Love You Want How to Get to Her Attention How to Keep Your Boyfriend How to Know When it's Time to Break Up How to Make Him Notice You How to Move On How to Tell How to have the commitment talk How-To Break Up Hung Up Hunter Hayes Hurtful Names I Can Barely Say I Can't Love I Can't Stop Stalking on Instagram I Don't Believe in Marriage I Don't Care I Don't Know How to Love I Don't Love You Anymore I Don't Trust Him I Don't Want a Girlfriend I Don't Want to Lose My Best Friend I Do I Found Dirty Texts I Got You I Hate My Boyfriend's Family I Hate My Fiance's Instagram I Hate Social Media I Have a Jealous Best Friend I Kissed a Girl and I Liked it I Love My Dog I Made a Mistake I Met the Perfect Girl I Miss Him I Miss My Ex I Need Your Love Calvin Harris I Proposed and She Said No I Regret it I Want Love I Want a Boyfriend I Want a Girlfriend I Want to Propose I Will Wait (Single) I fell in love I hate PDA I have a crush I want commitment I'm Bored in My Relationship I'm Competing with My Boyfriend's Video Games I'm Crushing on a Guy But I'm Married I'm Going Crazy I'm Grateful For I'm Pissed I'm Ready I'm a Christian and Lost My Virginity. Now I Regret It I'm a Committment-Phobe I'm a Liar I'm the Other Girl Icona Pop I Love It If I Lose Myself If It Kills Me Illusion Imagine Dragons - Demons Imbalance Imogen Heap Impressing a Girl Improving Communication in Relationships In Love with My Ex In a New Relationship In a Relationship Inappropriate Pictures Independence Independent India Arie Ready for Love India Arie Infidelity Ingrid Michaelson The Way I Am Ingrid Michaelson Insecurity Destroys You Insecurity and Jealousy Insecurity Insta-Troubled Instagram Cheating Instagram Issues Instagram Problems Instagram Stalking Instagram is Ruining My Relationship Instagram is f*cking up my relationship Instagram Intimacy Invisible Is He Cheating on Me Is He Playing Games Is He The One Is Love Just Hard Work Is Marriage Outdated? Is Marriage Relevant Is My Love Affair Over Is She Real? Is it Wrong to Give an Ultimatum It Gets Better It Never Works Out It Would Never Work It's All About Her All The Time It's All About Her It's a Wonderful Life Jack Black Jamie Grace Beautiful Day Jamie Woon Janet Jackson Jason Mraz I Wont Give Up Jason Mraz Love Someone Jason Mraz Jealous Over Instagram Jealousy Jef Holm and Emily Maynard Jef and Emily Proposal Jess Furman Jessie J Who You Are John Legend All of Me John Legend John Mayer Who You Love John Mayer Joshua Radin Cross the Line Judging His Past Judgment Condemnation Justin Bieber Acoustic Justin Bieber Boyfriend Justin Bieber Fall Justin Bieber Heartbreaker Justin Timberlake Suit and Tie Justin Timberlake KHS Kanye West Karma Katy Perry Not Like the Movies Katy Perry Part of Me Katy Perry The One That Got Away Katy Perry Who You Love Katy Perry Wide Awake Katy Perry Keep Walking Keep Your Distance Keep it Short Keep it Simple Kelly Clarkson Stronger Kelly Clarkson Kept Kids and Dating Kina Grannis Kiss Me Ed Sheeran Know Who You Are LYLAS Labrinth Beneath Your Beautiful Lady Antebellum Co-Write Lady Gaga Born This Way Lana Del Rey Young and Beautiful Las Vegas Last Christmas Wham Late Night Video Games Laughs with You Laughter Lay Me Down Lead with Confidence Leading Him On Leading Me On Left in the Dark Lego House Leona Lewis Let Go Let Me Love You Acoustic Let it Go Frozen Let it Out Let's Get it On Let's Take it SLow Letting Go Letting Him Down Easy Lies Liking Pictures Lil Wayne How to Love Lips are Movin Live Acoustic Live Performance Live in the Moment Live Living with a Boyfriend Logistics of Breaking Up Loner Long Distance Love Long Distance Relationships Long Distance Relationship Long Relationships Long Term Relationships Look After You Looking for the One Lorde Team Losing My Virginity Losing friends over Love Lost Trust Lost Without U Lost in Love Louis Jordan Love Her Flaws Love Hurts Love Improvement Love Me Like You Do Love Never Felt So Good Love Triangle Love When You're Ready Love Who You Are Love Yourself Love advice Love and God Love and Relationship Advice Love at Work Love in the Office Love is Complicated Love is Hard Love is Simple Love is You Love is a Verb Love Loving Me for Me Loving You for You Loving Yourself Lucille Ball Quote Lumineers Stubborn Love Lying in Relationships Lying Lyric Video Lyrics MKTO Classic Madly in Love Make Me Whole Make it Official Makes Future Plans Malibu Man Period Manly Guys Mariah Carey All I Want For Christmas Marilyn Monroe Quotes Mario Maroon 5 Love Somebody Maroon 5 Maps Maroon 5 Sad Maroon 5 Marriage Box Marriage Material Marriage Married on Social Media Marrying My Best Friend Marrying a Stalker Martina McBridge Marvin Gaye Masculine Energy Massage/Facial Match.com Matt Nathanson Max Maybe Gay Meant to Be Measure of Love Meditation Meet the Parenst Meet the Parents Meet-Up.com Meeting Her Asian Family Meeting New People Meeting People Offline Meghan Trainor Merry Christmas Met a Girl on the Other Side of the World Michael Jackson Justin Timberlake Mila Kunis Miley Cyrus Adore You Miley Cyrus Wrecking Ball Military Love Misbehaved Dog Miserable People Missing Him Missing My Ex Missing You Money Issues Money in Relationships Monogamy More Secure More than Friends Movie Date Moving on Moving to Another City for Love Mr. Nice Guy Mumford & Sons Music My Best Friend is MIA My Best Friend is in Love with Me My Best Friend My Boyfriend Acts Single on Instagram My Boyfriend Acts Single My Boyfriend Blocked Me My Boyfriend Broadcasts our Breakups on Instagram My Boyfriend Cheated with My Best Friend My Boyfriend Cheated. What Do I Do Now? My Boyfriend Dated Ugly Girls My Boyfriend Had a Baby with Another Woman My Boyfriend Has Hot Girlfriends My Boyfriend Has OCD My Boyfriend Hates My Dog My Boyfriend Hides Me My Boyfriend Lies to Me My Boyfriend Likes Girls on Instagram My Boyfriend Looks for Porn Featuring Qualities I Don't Have My Boyfriend Loves Facebook My Boyfriend Says I'm NOT His Girlfriend My Boyfriend Searches for Porn My Boyfriend Treats Me Like ____ My Boyfriend Wants a Bad Girl My Boyfriend has Ex Issues My Boyfriend is Acting Like a Bitch My Boyfriend is Boring My Boyfriend is Cheating on Instagram My Boyfriend is Controlling My Boyfriend is Jealous My Boyfriend is My Best Friend My Boyfriend is Ugly My Boyfriend is insecure My Brother Hates My Boyfriend My Co-Worker Tagged Me My Dad Says No My Ex My Favorite Ginger My Fiance Hates Our Dog My First Love My Girlfriend Flirts with My Best Friend My Girlfriend is Breaking Up with Me Over Instagram My Girlfriend is Instagram-Obsessed My Girlfriend is Lying to Me My Girlfriend is Mad at Me My Husband is Hiding His Instagram My Jealous Boyfriend My Jealous and Controlling Boyfriend My Mom Hates My Girlfriend My OCD Boyfriend vs. My Dog My Other Half My boyfriend talks about his ex My girlfriend is a stripper Mylo Xyloto Name Calling Narcissism Natalise How Natalise My Lighter Natalise Nate Ruess Nathan Sykes Ne-Yo Let Me Love You NeYo Neediness Needy and Attached Nerd Love Nerd Without Love Nerd in Search of Love Never Gonna Let You Down Never Shout Never New Boyfriend New Love New Mom New Relationships New Single New Year's Resolutions New York Newly Engaged Nice Guys Finish Last Nick Jonas Jealous Nicki Minaj Quotes No Doubt Ex Girlfriend No Regrets Noho Non-exclusive Relationships Not Feeling My Brother's Girlfriend Not Ready for Matrimony Not Ready Not a Cheater Not in Love Numb Offline Dating Oh Heartbreak OkCupid Once a cheater always a cheater One Direction Steal My Girl One Direction Story of My Life One Direction Strong One Republic Counting Stars One Republic Feel Again One Republic Love Runs Out One Republic One Year Anniversary Online Addiction Online Dating Open Me Open Relationships Opening Up Open Opposites Attract Oscar Wilde Quotes Overanalyzing Overcoming Heartbreak Overprotective Brother Overprotective Dad Overthinking Own Up to Your Faults PDA Parachute Hurricane Parachute Kiss Me Slowly Paramore Still Into You Paranoid Parents Don't Like Me Parents and Relationships Passenger Let Her Go Passive Aggressive Passive-Aggressive Pat Monahan Payphone Perfect Time for Marriage Perfect Personal Growth Personal Relationships Personal Reminders Pharrell Williams Happy Pharrell Williams Phillip Phillips Home Phillip Phillips Photographer Photograph Pink Just Give Me a Reason Pink Players Playing Fair Plenty of Fish Policing My Boyfriend on Instagram Possessive Postcards from Far Away Posting on Facebook Preacher Pregnancy Pressure to Get Married Pretty Little Liars Pretty Words Aren't Always True Privacy and Social Media Privacy Problems with Instagram Promiscuity Promise Ben Howard Proposal Ideas Proposal Time Proposal Proposing Protective Mom Protective of His Phone Puppy Training Advice Pursuit Pushing Love Away Put You First RED Rachel Patten Read Between the Lines Ready for Love Real Attraction Real Boyfriends Real Friends Real Men Reciprocation Recovery from Anorexia Recovery Red Flags Reflection Rejection Relationship Advice Relationship Labels Relationship Talk Relationships Shouldn't Be Work Relationships and Dogs Relationships in your 20s Religious Differences Remember What You Deserve Reminders List Renew Your Passion Respect Rihanna Stay Rihanna Risk-Taking Rixton Me and My Broken Heart Robin Thicke Blurred Lines Robin Thicke Romance Deprived Romance Romantic Relationships Romantic Rosi Golan Hazy Rude Magic Rules in Relationships Rules of Attraction Ryan Gosling Crush Sabotage Sam Hunt Make You Miss Me Sam Smith I'm Not the Only One Sam Smith Stay with Me Sam Smith Same Sex Relationship Sara Bareilles Brave Live Sara Bareilles I Choose You Sara Bareilles Saving My Relationship Say (All I Need) Say What You Need To Say Scared of Cheating Scared of Heartbreak Scared of Love Seeking Validation Selena Gomez The Heart Wants What it Wants Self Awareness Self Confidence Self-Centered Self-Esteem Self-Love Self-Sabotage Self-Worth Selfies Selfie Selfishness Serial Dating Sex Dreams Sex and Intimacy Sex and Love Sex and Relationships Sex for the First Time Sexual Attraction Sexual Compatibility Sexual Experimentation Sexual Labels Sexual Orientation Sexually Adventurous Sexually Attracted to the Wrong Person Sexually Frustrated Sexy Pictures Sex Shakira Empire Shakira Shallow Sharing in Relationships Shawn Mendes Life of the Party Shawn Mendes She Said No She Wants Me She Wolf She Won't Admit She Likes Me She's Just Not That Into You She's Marking Her Territory She's Passive Aggressive on Facebook She's a Man Hater She's into Me Should I Break-up with Him Before Christmas? Should I Get Back with my Ex? Should I Get Married? Should I Give an Ultimatum Should I Say Yes? Should I Trust My Boyfriend Should I Trust My Girlfriend Should I ask for exclusivity Sia Fair Game Sia Salted Wound Sibling Love Simple As It Should Be Sincerity Single Mom and Dating Single Mom Skylar Grey Sleeping at Last Quicksand Small Bump Snow Patrol New York Snow Patrol You Could Be Happy Snow Patrol So You Want Your Ex Back Social Media Flirting Social Media Marking Social Media Revenge Social Media Sucks Social Media and Relationships Social Media's Influence on Relationships Social Media Society's Obsession with Looks Someone Who Has Everything Sometimes You Have to Be Your Own Hero Sophie Kinsella Soul Dog Soulmates Soundtrack Space Sparks Spending in Relationships Spying on My Boyfriend Spying Stale Relationships Stale relationship Stalking Star-Crossed Lovers Starting Over Stay Together for The Kids Staying Loyal Steve Kazee Still Thinking About My Ex Still in Love with My Ex Still in Love with My First Love Still in Love with my Ex-Boyfriend Storyman Stripping Stuck in Love Summer Love Summer Romance Sunrise Proposal Superficial Relationships Tagging Take a Chance Take in the moment Taking a Chance on Love Taking a Risk Taking the Lead Too Early Taylor Swift I Almost Do Taylor Swift I Knew You Were Trouble Taylor Swift Ours Taylor Swift Shake it Off Taylor Swift We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together Taylor Swift Team Mentality Teddy Geiger For You I Will Teen Relationships Tegan & Sara Telling Her How You Feel Testing Your Partner Texting Too Much Thanksgiving Break Thanksgiving Dinner The Bachelorette The Beatles The Ex is On My Mind The Fault in Our Stars The Fray Heartbeat The Game The Getty Center The Girl Worth Having Won't Wait for Anybody The Grass is Always Greener The Great Gatsby The Griffith Observatory The Modern Dating Game The Monster Eminem The One Who Got Away The One The Other Girl The Other Woman The Perks of Being a Wallflower The Talk The Voice There is a Voice Inside You Thinking About My Ex Thinking of You Threatening to Break Up Three Tips to Get Over Heartbreak Tiffany's Timing Tinder Together let's Too Busy Too Emotionally Forward Too Much Too Soon Torn in Two Tove Lo Habits Train Drive By Train Marry Me Train Marry You Traveling a lot for Work Traveling Travis Garland Cover Treat Yourself Well Tristan Prettyman Trouble True Confidence Leaves No Room For Jealousy True Love Disappeared True Love Waits True Love True Words Aren't Always Pretty Trust Issues Trust and Faithfulness Trust in Love Trust in Relationships Trust Trying New Things Tunnel of Lights Japan Turning Tables Twilight Twitter Tyler Knott Gregson UFO Ultimatums Under Pressure Underappreciated Understanding Unexpectedly in Love Unhappy in Marriage Up Soundtrack Valentine's Day Victoria's Secret Video Games Virginia Virginity Virtual Cheating Visiting My Boyfriend Volunteer Vulnerability Brene Brown Vulnerability WTF. My Boyfriend is Hiding Instagram Waiting For Now Waiting for the One Waiting Walk Away Walking After You Wanted Wanting Love Wax Wings We Broke Up We Choose Our Own Hell We fight so much We're Fighting Over My Dog Wearing the Pants Wedding Weeknd What Are We? What Commitment Means What Does She Have That I Don't? What Doesn't Kill You What Now? What Should I do on the first date What You Deserve What do I do What is Cheating When My Boyfriend Proposes When You Love Someone When You're In Love When Your BF's Mom Likes His Ex When is Enough Enough? When to Break Up Where Are You? Where to Break Up Where's My Best Friend? Who Do I Date? Who Should Pay Why Can't I Have Sex Why Do Good Girls End Up with Bad Guys Why Do Guys End Up with Bitchy Girls Why Don't You Love Me William Fitzsimmons Window Shopping Winter Break Workplace Woes X Ambassador Unsteady You Broke Up For a Reason You Complete Me You Could Be Happy You Deserve Better You Don't Trust Him You Got Me You and Me You're Complete You're So Gay Maybe You+Me Young Love Young Mom Young Relationships Young Your Boyfriend Sucks Zedd feat. Foxes - Clarity asexual boy meets girl broken promises cheating boyfriend cheating spouse confidence cultivating relationships eHarmony engaged and cheated get your sex drive going getting to the next level guilt happiness high school. upper sixth how do you know if he's into you hypersexuality insecurity in relationships instagram likes justin timberlake not a bad thing knowing what you want long distance lower sixth making love work marriage counseling modern dating new couples new parents no to sex online flirtation postpartum depression pregnant real love relationships self-respect seriously confused sex therapy sexual curiosity sexual frustration sexuality subconscious the Fray the Hardest Part the Holidays the Luckiest the New Gay the XX therapy unrequited love what do dreams mean? yes to my girlfriend